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I find it interesting that when I was young, I desperately wanted to be assimilated. I longed for a collective where I could find belonging and acceptance. But now that I'm old(er), I find myself longing to stand out, to be unique. At this stage in my life, I enjoy community, and I value the validation of my peers, but there's a big part of me that wants to know I'm one of a kind. Not just another Trekkie. Or tax payer. Or church goer. But a nerd unto myself. Irreplaceable.Is that so wrong?
I’ve recently started to realize that stuff I thought was wrong with me, was there for a reason. It sounds so simple, but I’m still not sure I understand it all. The “stuff” had to do with how I related to God and to other believers – not like a “normal” Christian. I guess I thought I was a spiritual nerd. I think the thing that sucks about being a nerd is feeling isolated and alone. When you find out those things that you thought made you a nerd bring meaning and hope to others, it changes things. “You mean I’m supposed to be this way?”
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